My mind, at work

Daddy: What stories do they read to you at day care?
Me: The stranger story...
Daddy: Oh, "Never Talk to Strangers"?
Me: Yes.
Mommy: A teaching book?
Daddy: Yes. Dashiell, "Never ... " ?
Me: " ... talk to strangers."
Mommy: Dash, what's a stranger?
Me: A camel.

Every night:
Mommy or daddy: Let's brush your teeth.
Me: No, I want my teeth to fall out.

The theme:
Mommy or daddy: Why is [any puppet, stuffed animal, or lego character] sad?
Me: Because he wants his mommy or daddy.
M/D: Where is [he/she/it] going?
Me: Home to his mommy and daddy.
M/D: What are they doing?
Me: Looking for their mommy and daddy.
M/D: Why is he crying?
Me: Because he wants his mommy and daddy.
M/D: What does she want?
Me: Her mommy and daddy.
M/D [while I'm pushing a toy shopping cart]: What are you shopping for?
Me: A nice mommy and a nice daddy.